June

Just a fun note, i'm uploading this on my one month anniversary at my site…this is my anniversary gift to myself… i'm going to drink a cappuchino, check my email, eat a salad then go to a movie, you cant tell me that doesn't sound fantastic. I spoil myself.

Speaking of movies, this might be the malaria pills talking but i'm pretty sure the A-Team is the best movie ever. Go check it out!

So, about important things…. my first month at site has been a ride of highs and lows. Most of the lows include the fact that I have no idea what i'm doing, what i'm going to do or what i'm suppose to do along with the fact that all the people i'm suppose to work with seem to think I know all these things and have abandoned me to my own devices. That, and my host mom not only hasn't introduced me to anyone here but instead actively discourages me from meeting anyone, and if I do, she talks bad about them in the hope that i'll give up on their company. Happily, most of my highs have at least been more varied. They include planting Caligula, my lime tree so that i'm assured that when it gets big enough to have fruit, i'll have at least ONE fruit available on a daily basis. Also, knowing that i'm educating the children of Costa Rica with my favorite books and my favorite music, and even more so because the CenCenai (daycare) at my site is looking to build a library…score! Finally, my personal favorite is the first day at the school where one of the kids was talking to me and mentioned wanting to become a surgeon- it was a great reminder that kids here want to learn and want to succeed even if they rebel against the system they have now.

There are two parts of the previous paragraph I want to elaborate on because I suspect they're things that might only remain clear to me.

The first is being able to use my favorite things to teach here. Since I got here i've been fighting a personal struggle between fitting in with the culture here and keeping what makes me in place. A lot of the things i've seen here are things I personally dislike such as grown women painting little flowers on their nails, the culture of teaching that focuses on rote memorization, the use of INSANE amounts of sugar and butter in all cooking (and the utter rejection of the idea of salad as an appropriate meal) and the ever-present novelas as the main source of creative expression in country. That being said, i've been trying to fit in and to understand what makes Ticos tick by participating in these things to try and find their benefits (of course there must be benefits or the practice wouldn't survive). Currently my nails are painted blue with pink flowers on them, I've learned to cook rice and beans, empanadas and platanos maduros and I know the plot line (even if having only seen one episode) of over 10 telenovelas. (If you were going to ask, my favorite is El Capo which can be summed up with the words "guard hippos") After four months in country I have been able to come to love certain aspects of this culture. Novelas are a lot of fun, even if they represent a pretty one sided way of addressing problems, women actually thinks their nails look good this way, rice and beans tastes delicious, and with the price of textbooks out of the budget of most people in my site, writing the material on the board to be copied down is one of the few ways teachers can transmit it to their students in written form. That being said, I need to keep being myself in part to save my sanity. I'm not going to spend all my time painting my nails and watching game shows just to fit in, I have to spend time doing things that make me happy as well. Which is why I love that I can use things that are fundamental to me (my favorite music and childrens books) both as a secondary resource by loaning them to the school's english teacher, but hopefully soon as a primary source when I start the inevitable english classes).

The second is the mention of rebellion in my schools. I wondered a little bit when I first got to my site about why I was here. There are two (by Costa Rican standards) mansions in this town. The town houses a mall, country club and about 15 factories. There are plenty of people and places with money that could be solicited for community projects. All the people in power here seem highly motivated and productive. Since i've gotten here, i've seen 3 different projects initiated that fit more or less exactly in the category of what i'm suppose to be doing, all of which got organized, funded and done without me hearing anything about them. I wonder if by the end of 12 months there will be anything even left for me to do without resorting to stealing work from other people's job descriptions. The only issue i've seen in my town that people seem legitimately unwilling to touch are the handful of "problem kids" in the schools. I have no argument with anyone that these kids can cause a problem. One of them punched a teacher in the face right in front of me. Another took all my papers out of my bag and ripped them up. Yet another got expelled for a reason I don't want to guess at since the kid who punched the teacher didn't even get sent to the principal's office. Most importantly, none of the teachers think there's anything left to save there and are more than willing to pass them off on me for whatever I can do with them. I guess I should be happy about that? Before I was told about their status in the school I had already made up my mind that they were my favorite kids in the school. I guess I really just hope I can do something good for them. If their teachers don't care anymore, and if i'm to believe the school councilors their parents haven't cared for years, how can I make them care? I've already revised my idea of what it can mean to be successful but I hope at least some of them don't end up like my friend Jeff who lives in the coffee fields and who graduated elementary school at 15 and got a girl pregnant by 16.

So about what i've been doing…

Well, I arrived in my town in about the most inglorious setting I can imagine. Not only did I leave WAY too much stuff for the second trip out to my site, meaning that I arrived with a suitcase and 6 small bags along with a full sized umbrella, I had to lug these things on one of the local buses, dropped my suitcase that then fell out of said bus that had to stop while I fetched it, then when I finally got to my stop had to walk the mile or so to my house in the dirt street full of potholes during a torrential downpour. I should mention though I had my umbrella with me, with three bags in each hand besides I wasn't able to use it. So I arrived at my house my second time there dripping wet with everything I owned covered in mud that had been kicked up from the dirt road. It was awesome.

Shortly after I realized that my town is infested in these little bugs about the size of fruit flies that must have mouths that cover about 90% of their body, which would make them utterly terrifying if they were the size of ordinary house flies. They bite, draw blood, then the bite hurts like the dickens for the next two to three days. By the end of my first week I had over 50 of these bites, with more than thirty on my legs and feet alone. I used an entire tube of hydrocortisone cream to be able to sleep. It was also awesome.

As far as things that didn't bring shame or pain to myself, I participated in a number of meetings and ceremonies. The first day at the school, I went to an acto civico dedicated to myself. Funny thing, the first time I went to a church I went to a service dedicated to myself as well. I also participated in an acto civico which was entirely devoted to praying the rosary. There's never a minute here that allows you to forget that church and state are joined at the hip. I got invited into the PANI (child protective services) regional office with a breakfast, and have since been invited to join the Junta (the overarching committee devoted to child protection). I've also visited two orphanages (by the time I publish this it will have been three) and hope to start a program with PANI, that runs them, to create a plan of action for how to help kids who age out of the system. I invited myself to the local CEN (state run day care) and am now working with a committee formed to help provide it with toys and books which it's severely lacking. Also, at a "shower" for the Cen, I met the president of the Associacion de Desarollo for the town so am invited to their next meeting. So its not like i've done nothing, just nothing with tangible effect which is what i'm dying for right now.

What I have done is read about 6 books, learned to say two phrases in french and written four chapters in my book. Now whether you think that's remarkable or not, what it is to my host mom is troubling. Along with salads, book learning is apparently also dangerous in her eyes, and she continually expresses her disappointment in me for choosing to participate in these anti-establishment practices. Another habit, which i've heard her lament to other members of the family but which hasn't yet bugged her enough to bring up to me is my ability to play cards which she claims is a sign that I hate other people?

Of the things that i've done that are acceptable in her eyes are cleaned the house head to toe about 3 times so far, helped various assorted family members study for their english tests, gotten addicted to the news (which if you remember that the entire country's population is smaller than that of Dallas is really more like local news, I keep expecting to see someone I know show up on it), gone to a baby shower for my newest host cousin in which I won at bingo twice and got growled at by an old lady, and finally went for bbq at a relatives house where I was introduced to Plants vs Zombies, the most addictive computer game ever.

Oh, and i've watched Mexico win twice in the mundial so far where has England's record is what again??? Sorry Matt, had to bring it up!...

May...just May

So you'll forgive me, won't you if I start with things that happened at the end of the month and move backwards? After all, in the grand scheme of things, i'm working backwards right now anyway, so you don't have much of a base to argue on, and besides, if you do wanna argue, you can't get at me all the way out here.

On the 21st of May I was finally sworn in as a Peace Corps volunteer. In a lot of ways it wasn't that much different from my college graduation since I didn't feel any more professional and certainly not any more mature than I had when I woke up that morning, and just like in college, I had checked out a long time before so the magnitude of it kinda passed me by since in my head I had finished with training the day I went on my site visit.

That being said, I did get tripped up by one thing at swearing in. Maybe it was the solemnity of the occasion or the fact that we were kinda on US soil but I found myself crying during the National Anthem. Now i'm not unpatriotic, but I don't like saying the pledge or in fact pledging to anything except when drunk when I pledge any number of things. I had walked without emotion by the Declaration of Independence, Abe Lincoln's hat and the flag that the same National Anthem was based on but this time without reason I got tears in my eyes and looking around, I saw several other people in the same position.

That afternoon was bittersweet as I was celebrating with and concurrently saying goodbye to a lot of the people I had spent nearly all my time outside of my house with in the last few months. Granted we'll all be seeing each other in three months where we'll probably all be so changed with our individual experiences in our sites we'll probably be spending our time getting to know each other all over, but when I found myself that afternoon playing pool with the two biggest ladies men of Tico 20 and Joe (in his ladykiller shoes), I couldn't help wishing training had been organized with a whole week rather than one day at the end to hang out free of classes. Later that evening after after having to endure myself singing Abba in a karaoke bar, Abby's far too excited exposition on Hobbit wrestling, and having the bus that we waited for 45 minutes for in the rain break down twice, finally dumping us on some unknown corner that I knew that I would gladly trade both pairs of shoes I paid 2,000 colones for (especially the ones that fell apart about 100 feet from the house my first time out, just as Judith predicted) to have that extra week.

Ever since Technical week, my host family has been building a Panaderia (bakery) in our house. I say since tech week even though they first came up with the idea nearly three weeks before then because I arrived back home after a week away to find the entire house rearranged and most of the extraneous furniture heaped up in a pile in the front entry. In fact, the only rooms spared from the carnage of remodeling were my room and the kitchen (which I suspect was only saved after I spent the better part of an afternoon trying to convince Judith and Ritchie that uprooting all their appliances and moving the kitchen to another room just for the heck of it was going to be expensive and probably a lot of work besides). My last week in my site the hard work and the having to eat, hang out and live in the roughly 5 square feet not filled with piles of whatnots finally began to prove its worth with the beginning of the real work on the Panaderia. My last few days in my house were full of moving shelves and displays into the space (their old bedroom), installing a sink for who knows what and painting the whole thing. We didn't finish the entire construction by Saturday as they headily announced on Tuesday when we started the first bit of moving. (I know Kevin, I owe you a beer) Even though I knew it wasn't going to be finished however, I found myself working in all my spare time at home on getting it as close to completion as I could before I left. My last night in my house I spent hours painting grey onto the wall and around the unexplained sink. At the time I couldn't understand my dedication or the need I felt to finish it against all odds, but in retrospect I think every bit of grey I painted on the wall was almost a therapy for me, helping me move on and move out by ensuring that in a way my presence was still there in every drop of grey paint I had put on the wall.

So that was the end of the month. You might say--(well you can't say cause this is all written and besides you're all far away) "but Kari, you said yourself that started on the 21st of May and in this year of our lord 2010 i'm pretty sure May has 31 days." This is true, but I don't count my time in site as part of this month but rather the next one. Now that's cleared up, here are some other things that happened to me this month:

-I had a really awesome time grocery shopping for the family party with Harold and accomplices. In a few selected anecdotes, we made an illegal u-turn since after all we were in a diplomatic vehicle, we made that illegal u-turn to go to McDonalds for a McPinto that once we got there noone actually ordered and then we followed that up by eating nonstop for the rest of the day since every place we went afterwards had samples

-I had a really awesome time hanging out with Sophie my host aunt as we painted the Panaderia, and was honored by her trust in telling me that she's agnostic

-I had a really awesome time with the host kids learning both about their deepest fears (Noe's is pinatas and Josue's is clowns) and about their favorite pastimes (Memory, paper-airplanes and dunking the basketball in my dirty clothes hamper)

-I had a really bemused time imagining Alex making cheese in a well

-I had a really awesome time hanging out on the bench outside of my house w/ Kevin till untold hours while being harassed by one of my jealous security husbands on his security bicycle

-I had a not very awesome time at all fending off Pato's increasing flirting w/ me my last weeks in Chepe

-I had a really awesome time meeting the US Ambassador to Costa Rica in a dress I had fished out of the ocean not a month before

-I had a really delicious time eating pizza with the family as a last meal

and finally

-I had a really awesome time sharing with Nate some of the best music every written

Until next time, and remember… Jesus es verbo, no substantivo